Saturday, 31 December 2011

Bye bye 2011!

No, the year cannot end without the wrap up of my life..

So I did a scroll back to my year end blog last year, and I'm actually quite amazed that for once most of my resolutions have been achieved..

1. I did get myself a new job - it doesn't count that I'm looking for another one now :p

2. I actually did lose the long waited 5kgs - it also doesn't count that I might have put them back on with all the chocolates and wine :p

3. I did settle all my credit card, I have zero balance for all my cards now :) - but of course I might have other loans to settle now to achieve the zero balance :p but at least I'm getting there!

4. and then there were other things like buying a watch, handbags etc.. Which I also did.. In fact I have done way lot of shopping this year with all the traveling..

5. And of course the resolution on the boyfriend side didn't go too well.. Oh well, that's kinda expected..

Anyway, in a nutshell, I must say 2011 was one hell of a eventful year.. Too many things happened this year..

I can't believe I have traveled to 7 different countries in one year.. Had a share of good and bad experiences.. Big lesson learned: it's not the place but the people that matter

And then there was that life turning break up moment.. That changed everything all together.. Some things will never be the same again.. Another lesson learned: never ever and ever trust men completely, ever!

Did the thing that I thought I hate the most pretty damn well.. And sucked so badly at what I believed was my one n only passion.. That's teaching and traveling :p

Anyway, the year is almost over now.. No point looking through the past.. Looking forward to 2012.. The year that is so promising.. I mean, end of the world is this year, no? So looking forward!! :)

Happy new year all! Thank you for being part of my year..

And special thanks to nemo and Anya for being there for me no matter what, what time and what nonsense.. Can't thank u both enough! I wonder how u people put up with me sometimes.. But no, that's not for you to wonder, I'm too old to make new friends ok? :p xoxo


Saturday, 24 December 2011

Lol, they never fail to amaze me..

Just received these messages from this one colleague of mine. Who refuses to talk to me now.

"Well you are smarter and in different level of thinking. Plus you are advanced in your social life. I'm lame,weird and got no life."

"You never failed to remind me, in almost every conversation we had."

"And, I can't change myself for ya."

" I don't match your intelligence and I don't need anyone to bring down my dignity"

All because I called him weird.. Lol.. Some ppl just can't deal with the truth.. And it's not like I ever said anything about how he was fat, ugly nor even mentioned a single word about his blue contact lenses :p

Some people just don't count their blessings :p

Worst, he acts like he's one hell of a hot stuff, so much confidence n shit.. Can't even take a single criticism nor understands sarcasm.. N has to rant like a emo bitch n refuse to talk..

But hey, thank you for making the work of getting rid of you easier for me..


Monday, 19 December 2011


You know the feeling, when you are so overwhelmed or disgusted with something till you can actually puke?

I'm feeling that right now..

But just can't decide which is the one I'm feeling.. Hmmph :(


Perhaps it's just the dry breads n sandwiches :p

Sunday, 18 December 2011


Out of boredom, I was reading some of previous blog postings.. Omg! I really can rant and ramble so much!!!

Seriously, what's wrong with me?


Friday, 16 December 2011

Horoscope for laughs !

Since we use to enjoy reading this and laugh, I decided to post the latest I found...I have highlighted what I absolutely agree =)

Pisces Woman (20th February to 20th March)

A Pisces female is full of womanly charms and at the very first glance, she will look like the girl every guy falls in love with. She looks totally vulnerable, very different from the modern, liberated girl of today. Almost every guy feels like taking her in his arms and protecting her from the big bad world. She is one of those women who stand behind their husbands and support them in every way they can. A Piscean female will never try to dominate her husband. Rather she will like it if you do the usual gallant gestures, like holding the door for her.

She wants her man to love her, protect her and take good care of her. She will lean on him completely, showing full confidence in his strength and abilities. This acts like a solid ego boost to almost every male. She will always be a patient listener, with whom you can share all your secret dreams, desires and hopes. She doesn't have a single masculine streak in her and if you are looking for the typical womanly traits, then Pisces girl is the one for you. She is totally feminine, in all the seasons and at all the places.  (pinkest defined :p)

She can sit adoringly with you, admiring your each and every quality. The warmth of her personality makes most the men relax in an instant and bask in the glory of their manhood. Enough for the initial falling in and courtship period! Now comes the time of marriage and life after that. (hahaha) A Pisces woman nags just like all the other women and she has a bad temper too. In her fury, she can turn bitterly sarcastic. The consolation here is that she is gentle for more periods, than she is nudging and prodding.

Infact, majority of the time, she will be yielding, wistful and all womanly. Her scathing tongue will become loose once in a while only. In case you have found the opposite characteristics profile in a Piscean woman, chances are that she suffered extremely harsh treatment at a very young age and the bitterness will be a result of that trauma only. She has certain subtleness around her and may also become a little deceptive at times. She is not mean; it's just that she feels like keeping certain things to herself only. (lol :p)

Then, the deceptiveness also helps her in keeping you interested in her. A Pisces female is very sentimental and even slightly harsh words can cause her to cry hours at end. You can easily imagine what will happen when you really hurt her feelings. She may imagine herself to totally worthless and incapable of the fighting spirit to survive. Then, you will have to assure her that she is appreciated for her great wisdom, empathy and vast understanding. You know that whatever you are saying is true; it's just a matter of convincing her about the same.

You will have to remove her doubts about herself or she may become too closeted in self-defense. A Pisces girl is very shy, emotional and vulnerable. To protect her susceptibility, she often wears a cloak of wittiness, frigidity and independence. She is afraid of exposing her true self, lest people hurt her in the process. She is a true romantic and secretly yearns for a person who will love her, cuddle her, hug her and make her feel loved and protected. As a mother she may be too permissive and find it difficult to teach discipline.

You may have to teach her the fine balance between controlling and pampering. A Piscean female will sacrifice her own dreams to realize the hopes of her children. (Awww..) She may not be good with finances, but will manage to save money if the situation so desires. She will remember the smallest incidents of your life, so you better remember her birthday and your anniversary. She may become dreamy once in a while, but then she will always be there with you, without being asked to. She is someone you will want to take care of, throughout your life!

Gemini Woman (22nd May to 21st June) - according to date given here :p

Marrying one Gemini woman is like living with two different wives. (first line itself cracked me up :p) Confused Don't be, we are just talking about her dual personality. She has a dual nature and is capable of displaying different personality traits at different points of time. However, your major task will be to get her to commit. She is so fidgety that it becomes very difficult for her to become deeply involved with one person or place. The mind of a Gemini female never settles down at one place and her thoughts are always wandering.

However, if you do manage to blend with her at the mental, spiritual as well as physical level, you will be introduced to a woman full of passion. (true :) In her youth, she is least likely to be bounded by a relationship or commitment. She may love your most irritating habits one minute and be extremely sarcastic about your new stylish haircut the very next. Maturity may bring a little bit stability in her. All this doesn't mean that Gemini women are not romantic at all. Infact, for them, romance is the one of the easiest means of communication.

Since they always have some thoughts to express, romance never goes out of their life. However, commitment is an entirely different term. A Gemini girl may love your intelligence, but she will also notice your lack of interest in creative arts. It is same the other way round too. Puzzled You should be, at times, even she is baffled by her own complex nature. She is so vivacious and full of life that with her, you will forget even the deepest of troubles. She has the ability to light up the most somber of surroundings with her presence.

A Gemini woman will be full of the small, sentimental gestures that keep alive the romance in a relationship. (true!!) She will always find new ways of telling you how much she loves you and will shower you with her alluring charm. She may act like a typical woman at one point of time, be a nervous wreck the other minute and engage in an intelligent conversation the very next second. She has the feminine charms, but she will never be clinging on to you. One thing that you will never find in a Gemini woman's characteristics profile is monotony and boredom. (agree!)

She finds something good in all the men she meets and then, wants a man who has all of those qualities. However, this can't be and then, she keeps longing for that perfect man!  :) She can be your best friend, your sports partner, your racing competitor and your lover, all at the same time. Just remember one thing, she is single-handedly giving you all this, so don't expect consistency from her. A Gemini female can look at other guys, even when she is sincerely in love with you. Change is in her nature and she has to learn to control her own behavior. Just make sure to keep her interested in you and she will remain totally devoted.

She will never be suspicious of you and will expect the same from you in return. You may be out till 3 in the morning and she won't even bat an eyelid. A Gemini girl will always respect your individuality and you will be required to do the same. She may forget to do the dishes every now and then, but you can have the most soul-satisfying conversations with her. She will keep your intellect as well as creativity stimulated. Motherhood will come naturally to her and she will make a happy and gay mother, who will respect the individuality of the children.

Gemini woman makes an excellent hostess and will charm the guests with her grace. They will be treated to the best of cuisine, that too in silver cutlery. She can easily get along with anyone, right from your boss to the peon of your office. With a Gemini wife, you will feel as if you are with a different woman every other day. lol :p When she wants to speak, she will speak and when she wants to fly, she will fly. You don't know how she flies; just listen to her imagination and you will know. She is full of hopes, desires and dreams and you are welcome to share them. Just make sure that you are with her when she needs you!


Capricorn Woman (22nd December to 20th January)

It is very difficult to define the characteristics profile of a Capricorn girl exactly. She can be the sexy babe on the beach or a scientist sitting in the laboratory, doing experiments that can save mankind. Whatever she is on the outside, when you look inside you will find a girl who looks for security, authority, respect and position. It is an entirely different matter how she seeks to achieve these goals. It may be as the president of a country or as the wife of an ambitious man. She seeks recognition and it doesn't matter how she gets it.

A Capricorn female is like that goat, which has to reach the top of the mountain. It doesn't matter what position she starts and how slowly she walks, she will be at the top much before those, who were running in front of her. She will do it with such subtlety that you wouldn't even know when she crossed all the milestones. She has her aims and ambitions, but they don't come before her family. She can enjoy the role of a wife or a mother as much as that of the CEO of the biggest MNC. However, you will have to provide her with equivalent respect and security.

Almost all the Capricorn women have immaculate etiquettes. They have an inherent sense of social elegance, modesty and conventional look. Though she looks completely calm, composed and balanced, don't think she doesn't have mood swings. She can become really depressed if she thinks that someone has misjudged or ill-treated her. In such a case, she may brood for months at a time. This stems from the fact that she does not feel as secure as she seems to be and fears being ridiculed or laughed at.

It is advisable not to tease a Capricorn girl; she may take it too literally. Though she may pretend otherwise, she seeks as much compliments as the other girls, probably even more. Show her that you appreciate her and make her feel secure. It will help her in opening up and showing her deliberately controlled passion. A Capricorn girl's personality doesn't include the trait of wishful thinking. She sees only those dreams that can be converted into reality. She enters a boat only when she knows that the waters are safe.

She will emphasize heavily on social etiquettes and you never see her serving the guests in anything but crystal cutlery. There will always be something fresh about her beauty and she will never ever be unattractive, even when she is wearing those hair-curlers. A Capricorn female will appear to be extremely confident, but inside she is quite unsure about her appearance. You will have to reassurance her time and again that she is attractive. She will always be honest and will expect the same from you.

At the same time, you will have to respect her family. Remember when you marry a Capricorn woman; you marry her family and relatives too. If ever you criticize her family members, better ensure that the criticism is constructive or she will never forgive you. Her love for you will never prevent her from taking care of her family. The plus point of this attitude is that she will be equally considerate towards your family too and give them the same respect as her own fellows. She will never mind if you cancel your holiday trip to pay for dad's operation..

The home of a Capricorn female will always be sparkling clean, that to with effortless ease. She is a realist and daydreaming is not her idea of passing the time. She has the ability to make even the dullest of surroundings looks warm and attractive, with her earthly passion. She will never stop you from dreaming, as long as there is bread in the house and the dreams have atleast some chances of turning into reality. As a mother, she will teach the kids discipline, economy, practicality, etiquettes and respect for elders. Make her feel loved, protected, needed and cared for and in return, she will support you in realizing your dreams and give you a deep, lasting love!


Thursday, 15 December 2011

That awkward moment, when...

...You are in a taxi, roads are blocked and traffic jam everywhere. The driver tries to explain something quite seriously in a language you don't understand... And when the only three words you can make out from the news going on and on in radio are "explosion, security and police".


Thursday, 8 December 2011


I haven't blogged in a awfully long time.. Well, I'm afraid of writing about good things.. As I'm always scared of jinxing things, which I'm very good at.. And to write about bad things, there's only the men stories that I don't wanna go back to.. (I still hate them all, btw)


I just got back from Paris 3 days ago.. N now I'm at the airport again waiting to board my flight to Brussels..

Life has never been more hectic.. N I did a crazy fly back across the world to spend 3 days at home.. Almost every single person I met, asked why on earth I came back.. Surprisingly even my mom asked me to stay.. And others simply decided I'm crazy..

But I'm glad I did.. Thanks Anya, for understanding and asking me to follow my heart.. I'm glad I asked you.. (But I'm sad that I didn't get to see you getting in shape :p )

Nevertheless, Paris was great, the most beautiful place I've ever been to.. Nice weather and extremely romantic city.. I would love to go back there again.. Hopefully not alone next time! :p

Now, let's hope Brussels will be kind to me, especially with the weather front ;)


Tuesday, 6 December 2011


It's the little things in life that make a big difference :) Like ....

.... When a friend that I've been missing for some time suddenly SMS's me to say she's been thinking about me too and wonders how I'm doing

.... When I finally can understand a schematic diagram of a low voltage switchgear

.... When Santa suddenly appears in the office at 3P.M. and hands out candies

.... When my other half rushes to pick up something I've dropped cause I'm not as flexible as I used to be, with my watermelon of a belly

.... When it's that time of the year to put up the Christmas tree and bake cookies


Tuesday, 15 November 2011

When the sales girls starts addressing you as "kak"..

When the neighbors children start addressing you as "Aunty"..

When you need to dye your hair every month once at least..

You can be sure, you are turning 30..

Just saying..


Friday, 4 November 2011


If there is one thing I never feel guilty buying no matter where i am and what the currency conversion is, got to be this:

Done and over with Singapore! And for the record, one random trainee actually came up to me and said he's so impressed by me and my teaching skills :p

~ looking forward to Paris! :)

Friday, 28 October 2011


The Deepavali festivities this year came with a barrage of attention from inquisitive and excited relatives about my growing belly. While I totally appreciate everyone's excitement about the arrival of their first niece/nephew/grandchild/great-grandchild, I was feeling very uncomfortable about all the extra attention. I cringed inside everytime my dad announced to everyone within hearing distance, "Can you see her tummy!!" and when everyone eyes or hands went straight to my tummy followed by comments like, "You're so small!" or "Why are you so thin?". I seriously felt like I should have given a fake pregnancy-related excuse and stayed home yet I felt really selfish for feeling that way.

So I've been feeling pretty down the last couple of days - fighting between what I'm feeling versus what I'm telling myself I should feel.

Today I came across this in that totally made me feel better to know that I'm not alone!

At this point, you may find your belly becoming a hand magnet. It's perfectly okay to tell folks who touch your tummy that you'd rather they didn't. And if people are telling you that you look smaller or bigger than you should at this point, remember that each woman grows — and shows — at her own rate. What's important is that you see your practitioner for regular visits so she can make sure your baby's growth is on track.

Although I don't think I can bring myself to tell friends and relatives who are happy for me to not touch my belly (hey, how would you like people just randomly coming up to you and touching you and judging your body?), I can tell them very firmly that small tummy or not, my baby and me are healthy and we're both growing at a healthy rate so far.

Now I just have to get through Christmas .....


Saturday, 22 October 2011

The Stupid Me

Do people deserve a second chance? Does it really work? I really need to know.

I cant stop asking myself, the what-if questions..

I am pretty done with men. I don't think I can trust anyone anymore. I have just met one too many.

I broke up but I didn't stop loving him even when he did all that he did, for me I didn't have to spend the rest of my life with him just because I love him. I thought I was selfless.

Now that I have lost my trust on him and almost every other men, and that i am still considering being with him, does that make me selfish?

Or maybe just plain stupid. I know.


Friday, 21 October 2011

Men #Finale

I have talked so much about men on how dumb they are.

But I have finally realized, I am the stupid one after all.

I broke up.


Saturday, 15 October 2011

The girl in the green scarf

Remember the girl in the green scarf?? How Becky had to be that gal..

I had that moment today :) I found that one green scarf that I must have.. It was love at first sight.. And of cos I bought it without thinking twice...

But unlike becky, there wasn't any cute guy to borrow me money.. Only had my good ol' shiny card.. But no regrets, as I get to be THE girl in green scarf now :)


On other note, i hate Singapore for having everything so cheap (before conversion of cos) just so not fair since we are like so close by.. N they have more of everything..

Oh well.. Have a pounding head n feet ache now.. Probably burned my entire allowance for this trip, n crashed the currency converter app on my phone.. So yeah, in short had a productive shopping day! :)


Wednesday, 12 October 2011

Lunch Crazies

Mr Silent: He rarely says a word, but when he does it's too mumble something intelligible. He makes up for his reserved nature with his maniac driving skills. His car looks all beat up and abused although it's hardly 3 years old.  

Mr IT: One of the IT guys in the office. He's short, dark skinned with spiky blond hair and he wears a pair of "guy" earrings. He once was trying out a hacking tool at work and managed to cause a virus attack alert for all the company employees in Malaysia. No biggie - only about 700 of us ;p

Ms Vege: A vegetarian since birth, she's gotta be one of the most tensed up people at work I've ever met. Almost everything at work is urgent and highly stressful and she has no qualms about shouting at the customer. However, outside of work, she's fun, boisterous and knows how to have a good laugh. It's like she has a split personality!

Mr Metro: Either he's metrosexual or gay, I can't tell 'cause I'm just observing from his dressing and mannerisms. It doesn't matter anyway, because of all the guys, he's the only one I can have a sane, light hearted, intelligent conversation with.

Mr Philosophy: Or maybe I should call him Mr Smarty Pants since he'll be getting his IR pretty soon. Conversations with him usually require a higher level of understanding and he can pull out random facts or quotes from his head like "mankind's brain is like a monkey that is drunk and has been bitten by a scorpion". Say what??

Mr Scotland: The only conversation he can have is about his stint in Scotland as a grad student. No matter what everyone else is talking about, he has a uncanny ability to drop something - anything! -about Scotland in the conversation; the scenery is gorgeous, the weather is wonderful, the kilt is so macho (eerkkss!), the bread doesn't upset his stomach and on and on he goes. But get this, he's a pure Indian vegetarian (as in he doesn't like any other food except Indian food), he's only traveled within 3 hours of KL, he doesn't drink or smoke, bald and he's been single all his life. I get very annoyed over the fact that he has never bothered to explore his own country and sample the abundance of cuisine we have here, yet dare to diss it and glorify Scotland (hey, I have nothing against Scotland, it's a beautiful country!).


Tuesday, 11 October 2011

In one of my very first trainings with the senior employees, I was told that "we go all over the world; but there are only two countries that is so difficult to handle". One being India and the other is singapore.

And as usual I'm one of the lucky ones to experience both in the very beginning. Did India. Regretted, hated, survived. Then I took a long break, not wanting to go anywhere else. I've been idle for sometime now.

And now it's my time to face the very famous Singaporeans. Although, I'm all like bring it on, I can do this etc. And thanks to my stupid colleagues, I'm actually feeling smarter these days.

Truth is, I haven't booked my return flight. There's this tiny little inner voice keeps telling me, maybe they'll just ask you to leave on the very first day.

Sigh. Hope I survive this.
Singapore, here I come. Be kind please


Sunday, 2 October 2011

Men (to be..) #25

Conversation between my 4 year old nephew and I

Me: what do you want to be?

Him: I wanna be a police

Me: why police?

Him: so I can shoot people.. I want to shoot everyone

Me: oh..

Him: thi, wat you want to be?

me: hmm, I want to be a soldier..

Him: nooo! You cannot..

Me: why? I also want to shoot people..

Him: (chuckles) you are a girl la..

Me: so what? I want to be..

Him: nooo, cannot!!!

Me: Ok fine, I want to be astronaut

Him: haiyoo, cannot la.. You girl.. you be teacher la

Me: teacher?? Eee, I dowan!!

Him: hmmmmm, ok fine.. You be a baby sitter!!

Me: (wtf??)

And I thought I was sexist.. Kids these days...

Oh btw, he wouldn't let his younger brother touch anything that is pink in color.. Favorite line "pink is for girls!!!"


Tuesday, 27 September 2011

Dear Idiot..

Dear Idiot,

I am quiet; reserved and anti social. But that's for me to decide. You don't get to judge me. I am the way I am for a reason.

After meeting so many people of your kind (read:idiot), the filter between my mind and mouth has evaded over the years. So my speech now is limited to swear words, curses and it's relatives.

To compensate the loss of the filter, I now have a new nerve connecting my mind directly to my middle finger. So yeah, there you go. If you don't wanna regret your life hearing a quiet-reserved-shy looking Indian girl speaking her mind, stay out of my way.

And the hand action might give you sleepless nights unless you are used to getting that a lot, of course.

And my vocabulary now that is limited to eff sounding words when translated to Tamil will sound so vulgar that your ears might start bleeding. So yeah, now stop asking why I don't speak in Tamil.

And I don't want to have a conversation with you because I'm least interested in knowing what shit you had for dinner nor how sucky your life is. No matter how sucky your life is, I know I will win hands down having to tolerate people like you everyday.

And btw, mind you, I'm not open minded just because I speak only f words now. My mind is so close that it doesn't take in any criticism at all. So if you got stuff to say like I am weird or complicated, I only take them as compliment with a smile of victory. So if that's not what you meant, please shove it down you know where.

Thank you very much.

Yours sincerely,

Thursday, 8 September 2011

Whatte Surprise?!?

Today, my boyfriend and I both received a "box of surprise" at work..

He received the above and I received the below!

Not saying anything anymore!


P/s: whoever who still thinks there is god please go jump off a building today! kthxbai.

Men #22

After trying all the tricks up my sleeve; I finally gave up! Some people just don't get it. So I succumbed to this:

r u married?

I am single

guess u r single too

why do u guess taht?

just a guess
am i rite?


oh. so u are married then

soon to be married

my advance wishes to u

thank u

anyway i guessed it rite

U r still single
he he
only soon to be married


remember ar u r still single!

Sorry, I gtg

Talk to u tomorrow
see you
ta ta
bye bye
c u

No words!
(Anya, and you thought not yet will work? :p )


Wednesday, 7 September 2011

My Little pleasures of life..

There's nothing in this world that can beat the pleasure of:

- at the end of a very stressful day, walking into a random but familiar store and stuffing the basket with all the things that you don't actually need you will need in future

- and ending the sweet adventure by swiping that shiny little card that has been calling out my name each time I open my wallet and giving the best ever signature

Aaaaaahh, such bliss! :)


Sunday, 4 September 2011

New crisis..

As it is my list of quarter life crises are long enough.. Now I've got a new one to add..

I've just realized that once you have surpassed that certain age and as you near the big thirties; people, especially the less brainy men, no longer ask simple questions like "are you seeing someone?" or "do u have a bf?" like how guys used to ask back in those days..

Now, the golden question seem to be the one n only "are you married?" and full-stop.

And they go on making their own assumptions or probably they don't care less.

It's hard for a girl like me to tell without looking overly "perasan'ed" that "hey, I may not be married; but I'm not interested in you!" (and I already have or am seeing someone )

It annoys me that men assume if you are hot old and not married, you must be single and ready to mingle..

Being back in the men-dominated-engineering world this is my latest crisis that I am finding it hard to deal with :p

Anya gave me a brilliant suggestion to start introducing myself as "I have a boyfriend; and my name is.... "

I thought that was a good one ;)


Monday, 22 August 2011

Daily dilemma

I did a big batch of ironing n decided to count the amount of clothes I have.. Only working clothes that is..

I have enough clothes to last me for 7 weeks without having to repeat any single piece.. And this doesn't include the days I decide to go casual to work..

The beauty of it is that, yet, every morning I always think i have nothing to wear n constantly remind myself to do more shopping :)


Toh Zinda Ho

I need to go away
On my own
Somewhere peaceful, somewhere its beautiful to be outdoors
Somewhere the sun shines
Somewhere where the breeze will caress away all my worries
In that soothing way that only a breeze knows

I need to feel me
I need to feel alive
Because I’ve not been feeling the same
Since I turned a quarter century old

Its been 3 years
I still haven’t got back my mojo
Not for work, and not for life

I thought I needed a change in job
So dusted off the resume I last wrote 5 years ago
Spent 3 weeks writing it up again
And started the wait game
Still not knowing what is it that i want to do
Still not knowing despite all these years what i have passion for
Still lacking the courage to break the mould
Still questioning my judgment

Not easy starting all over again
And I haven’t even started

I tried shopping
Didn’t help
Started praying more
Helped a bit but still feel something is lacking
Tried having varieties to the social scene
Still came back feeling bored and empty inside

The one thing that keeps me going a little bit is
So I run
I walk
I jog
Every other night when I can
So that I feel at peace
I have conversations with Him
I try to organize my thoughts
Some days I cry when I jog
Some days I feel like it’s a good day
Some days I feel lonelier than ever

I know I am looking for an escape
An escape from parents who are too disappointed with me
An escape from relatives who think im selfish because im single
An escape from friends who mean well
An escape from a person whom I’ve fallen for but one who doesn’t feel the same

Saddens me that he doesn’t care with the same magnitude
Saddens me that he doesn’t think of me the way I do
Saddens me that other men show it and he doesn’t
Saddens me that other girls get more and I don’t
But I know its not his fault
He is who he is
I am who I am
We fall short of each other’s expectations
Expectation is a bad thing to have, he once said
How true, I think back now

Home life is not the same anymore
Not since what happened
Saddens me that my own parents fail to understand us
Saddens me that they fail to see why it happened that way
Saddens me they blame the her
Saddens me that I cant do anything more for them
Saddens me that to make them happy again i risk being unhappy for life

Saddens me that I cant give the answers they or my friends search when they look at me
Saddens me that I started dodging personal questions from my own best friends
Saddens me that I have started to avoid them in ways i can
Saddens me i feel ashamed in front of them when i shouldn't

Saddens me that I might grow old alone
Saddens me that might not have my own babies
Saddens me that I don’t have a home of my own
Saddens me that the dreams I had as a young girl got crushed by adulthood by something called Reality

My past still haunts me
In many ways that I choose to still deny
I dream about it sometimes
And I wake up looking for answers
Not knowing if i can ever let go of the hurt
Wanting to move away from it

And now my dog of 13 years
Has been showing signs of old age
He doesn’t run the way he used to
He doesn’t wag his tail the way he used to
He doesn’t look forward for his walks anymore
I used to have a hard time keeping up with him during his walks
But now we walk side by side
That too after I slow my usual pace

Saddens me that I might be losing him
Saddens me that our lives wont be the same without him around
And I dread for the day
When the only thing that keeps my family together might be going away

So yes
I need to go away
From everything and everyone
Because I don’t recognize ME anymore
Or maybe I never got to know her

I hope
I pray
I wish
I’ll get a job that takes me far from here

But alas
Im here on a Monday morning
In my office
Being what I hate being (read: emo)
Writing what I hate writing (read: bimbo-like rantings)

But I know its not just a phase
Not when it has been around for 3 years
Or more if I really start reflecting

So yeah…

p/s: no follow up questions please, tq

Tuesday, 16 August 2011

Being introduced by my father to his friend ...

These are my children ...

So you're the pilot and you're the doctor and you're married!

:P %$#!?! :P

Thursday, 11 August 2011

Men #22

Oh the freaking lord. It's been more than 4 years together, and only today I realize that he has actually never, I really mean never; he has actually never said the three magic words to me in person before.. Never to my face nor my eyes.. Gawd! Can you believe that?



What a roller coaster ride the last couple of months have been!

It's been a month at the new job and I'm slowly getting the hang of it. However I'm not sure how long it'll take for me to get used to waking up before 6 a.m. everyday, no flexi-hours and crawling through the traffic jams. Those are definitely the things I miss from my old job.

All that aside, the craziest scariest most-hormone-overdosed most wonderful thing has happened to me.

I'm pregnant!

It's still feels really strange to say that although I'm nearing the end of the 1st trimester. I'm waiting for the intense joy and contentment to happen but thus far every little change in my body has either caused me to be worried or in denial. However it's been comforting to know I'm not the only one who feels this way, judging from the number of forums and blogs by first time mummies-to-be. They assured me that the 2nd trimester will be better.

Despite the worrying and the tiredness and the bloating and the occasional nausea, seeing my tiny baby doing water-acrobatics on the ultrasound made it all worth it. Ok, ok, I know I sound like a typical sappy pregnant lady so I shall stop - for now.

~Anya with a baby-bump~

Monday, 8 August 2011

Men #21

I forgot. The doctor that I'm seeing is a man. No wonder he's so dumb.

I tell him I've lost 5kgs, he says good job and asks me to lose 6kg more!!!!

F.u! F.u! F.u!!


Saturday, 30 July 2011

Good to be back!

It feels so good to be back.. It's a feeling that is hard to describe.. To some it may seem exaggerating..

Yes, to be honest i have only been away a few days.. N to somewhere so close to my country.. Although the journey was unnecessarily long across cities..

The point is, I am starting to dislike this traveling.. Although that was my passion n all n the only reason I considered this job..

I'm so new at this, but I'm feeling like I've been doing this all my life.. Thats not a very good sign..

I always loved keeping myself busy to avoid unnecessary thinking.. Too much thinking leads to too much problems.. I always wanted to live myself without having to think what will happen the next day..

More than the job, I'm hating it that I've so much time of 'me-time' which is making me think too much..

Me no like :(


Monday, 18 July 2011

I jinxed it!

Today I confirm that officially I have the "mulut yg paling masin di dunia"!!

Btw, mulut masin (direct translation for salty mouth) is actually a phrase to describe one that is capable of making a statement (mostly bad ones) that comes true immediately after..

So yeah, I have that natural talent or maybe curse.. Many times the statements I have made, of cos not planned ones, have immediately come true..

After the tormentous experience of traveling in Mumbai roads, I have been acting like my car is some new found treasure and I've been totally in love with it since my return..

So this morning I drove to work and as usual prepared to have my breakfast in car.. And for no fucking reason I tell myself proudly, I can even have breakfast in car while driving and nothing will happen to me.. And I have to add, imagine doing this in India with a cynical laugh..

So yeah, karma is for real too.. Just when I'm bout to finish my breakfast n pack up, I bang the car in front of me!!

Period. Nothing else to say :(


P/s: on a positive note, I've lost 4kgs to date n my jeans has gone one size smaller after ages :)

Thursday, 14 July 2011

Mumbai Day #11

There are three bomb blast in Mumbai.. I don't know what the hell am I suppose do!! Aaarghh...

Just when I'm dying to come back.. My luck :(


Tuesday, 12 July 2011

Mumbai - Day #10

Conversation between me n waiter.

Me: Can I have a fried rice?

Him: Ok. Which gravy you want madam?

Me: only fried rice.

Him: No, ma'am. Fried rice are very dry. You need gravy.

Really now?!


Mumbai Day#10

I have had enough of India already. Can't wait to leave. The whole of last night I was having vertigo while sleeping.

Indians look for the cheapest option and they suck you dry. I have been asked to support 3 remote sites customers in different locations while training the local ones. They don't get it that, it's impossible to do technical training via video conferencing.

Sigh. Two more days. Take me back, god!


Thursday, 7 July 2011

Mumbai Day #5

I'm having a discussion with a guy in my desk.. Suddenly I hear "ma'am, may I?"

I turn around to see, onw guy actually has MY water bottle in his hand n before I can revert from the stunned moment, he drinks the water from my bottle..

*faint* they never fail to amaze me..


Wednesday, 6 July 2011

Mumbai Day #4

Conversation over lunch, having pasta in sambar..

Guy #1: Are you from Indonesia ma'am?

Me: No, I'm from Malaysia

Guy #2: Malaysia and Japan same country na?

Me: *faint*wakeup*faint*wakeup*

Guy #2: Sorry ma'am, my general knowledge is very low..

Like seriously, I'm suppose to teach these guys?? No wonder they ask me thousand questions..


Monday, 4 July 2011

Day #1 Mumbai

My first impression and conclusion (since I've actually been here before)

1. India is so dislikable.
2. All the desi bloggers (including my favorite ones) must be fantasy writers.
3. Indians love to stare.
4. They will never get it that I am not Indian - Indian.
5. India is only nice when you are indoor.
6. India makes me grateful for my country.
7. Indian men carry (small) umbrella everywhere.
8. Indians are bad with directions and everything is "just by the corner".

On a positive note, there's this thing called shopping :) Look forward to that..


Friday, 1 July 2011


My new job is taking me to Mumbai tomorrow.. This is probably the most rushed traveling that I have ever done.. I panicked like crazy, a little calm now.. Hopefully it isn't the calm before the storm..

This is also my first official Client assignment.. Keeping fingers crossed it will go well, as Indians has always been the hardest customers..

On another note, in my first job, my first assignment was also in Mumbai.. I was there like a lost child in between all the hustle n bustle of the crazy Mumbai city..

Hopefully Mumbai reserves some extra luck for me!


Wednesday, 22 June 2011

One after another!

One after another!

I hate myself!!!!

I hate all frigging doctors!!

I can't be fckin living on pills!!



Tuesday, 21 June 2011


We all cringe as every year that goes by adds another wrinkle to our face and another white hair to our head. But if you're as gorgeous as Nemo with a fantastic personality to boot, we think it hardly matters.

Yes, it's Nemo's birthday today!!

Just like her namesake, our Nemo is a bubbly burst of sunshine and laughter in our lives.

However, we know she's are not just about laughs and having a good time. She's a strong independent woman with passionate views on life. Yet despite the macho exterior that she successfully projects, she got a marshmallow heart; soft and sweet.

She's the kind of friend you can count on to yell at tell off someone sarcastically politely who's being a bitch to you and at the same be sensitive enough to be your shoulder to cry on and an ever ready ear to listen.

So Nemo, on your special day, we just want to say you're a rare gem and we hope that you know that.

Happy 28th dearest Nemo!


Friday, 17 June 2011

Masterchef in making

Oh, did I tell mom is away for 10 days? Sorry for sounding like a school kid, but I have absolute freedom n the kitchen n tv all to myself for the next 9 days ;) wheeee...

So, now I get to be the masterchef and this is my first production!

My first very own salad! Honestly I have never made salad before in my life.. N truth is, I threw away the first attempt :p

But glad my roasted (not grilled) chicken salad (with no dressing), wasn't great but edible (thanks to chili sauce :p) I'm Malaysian ok? Don't judge :p


Thursday, 16 June 2011

Record broken!

Despite all the lame attempts I made to skip gym today; I finally went. And actually broke a record :)

Did 3km non stop at good speed in 15mins =) yay!! N probably did another 5km with no cramps n no choking for breath.. I'm getting good at this. Woohoo!

And also officially lost 3.2kg since 9th May.. But must say that I have been skipping diet n gym a bit too many days nowadays..
Not proud of it :( n also still no noticeable difference physically :(

For now I am just glad I can skip an extra hole in my belt :p


Wednesday, 15 June 2011

The winding road

Finally I've done it.

I've resigned.

After almost 5 years of LDR, I've got a job where N is. At first I was extremely happy, than the panic set in. How the hell am I supposed to learn up a new industry and work -alone- there?! After getting some sense knocked into me by N and the Pinkscalers, what I feel now is mostly "I can't believe this is actually happening! Dare I start to dream about what our life will be like together?"

During the interview, my future manager asked me "Where do you see yourself in 5 years time?". And for the life of me, I couldn't give him a proper answer. Lucky that didn't cost me the job!

But how do I explain to him that for the past 5 years, I've never planned more than a week in advance? If I start wondering and worrying about the future, I'd drive myself crazy because of all the unknowns. Many have asked me, how are you managing LDR for all these years. Well, N being amazing is one reason. Another is, I can only handle one day at a time. Beyond that my brain goes into overload and has a meltdown. I'm probably the most surprised person that all that days have accumulated into almost 5 years, more so because when N first moved away, I made it clear to him I'm not a LDR person.

I know the challenges ahead of me are many and varied but I know what I need to do.

One day at a time.

One step at a time.

I hope I remember and follow my own advice.


Saturday, 28 May 2011

Langkawi holiday!

Recently we celebrated 10 beautiful years of our friendship in a beautiful island..

The car we used to roam around the island..

Our cute cabin..

The beautiful beach..

Some delicious food..

Our ritual spa visit ;)

Spa time! <3

Yoga by the beach ;)

Enjoying the sea view..

And of course leaving our footprints ;)

Overall, it was a short but a great holiday! =)

luv ya gals! Can't wait for our next one..


Wednesday, 25 May 2011

Men #22

SMS received at 12.54am from Jackass..

"If i never meet my ex n god make me meet u 1st ,than i trust god exist! But sadly maybe u wont like me ! Its ok xxxx , at least he give me u as my team mate ! Hahaha! God is just good as he give me u as my friend n he is great wen he make u my best friend ! Good nite ! Cover me 2mlw ok"


Thursday, 19 May 2011

Today is day 10, since I officially went on a strict diet. The fact that I've lasted 10 days actually dieting, itself deserves a big round of applause. Proud of myself :) extra proud that I have actually lost 1.5kg in the 10 days.. Not big amount, but guess at least I'm on the right track this time.

Hopefully I don't add on extra 1.5kg to what I have lost in langkawi :p oh yes, it's finally happening..

We pinkscalers are off to langkawi to celebrate 10 years of friendship =) deserves a better blog entry all bout this, but thanks to nemo felt extremely loved today and absolutely missed all the girls..

Cheers to our beach holiday and 10 more years to come! :)



Headquarters : The Beginning

What passes as Indian food in Tmn U ;P

I still refer to Techno as Lucky Town Music :)

So many memories here - good, bad and freaky :)

We finally got rid of The Bitch. yay!

Oh yeah .. we studied too..I guess :)

It's been a fantastic 10 years and I can't imagine my life without you gals.

Love you dearies!



Wednesday, 18 May 2011

Men #21

So the annoy-the-shit-out-of me guy, walks into the office.. Wait, he needs a name, I foresee many more blog entries, so let's call him jackass (rhymes with his name)..

So jackass walks into the office, goes to the cubicle behind mind n calls out "hey, turn around, see this!"

And I turn around and get shocked, seeing the jackass standing there with his shirt unbuttoned revealing his hairy chest!!! I go, WTF???

And he point towards some burn mark on his chest, and ask me to guess wat it is?? realizing my still WTF face on, he explains that those are self burned marks with cigarette to make him forget his ex who dumped him like centuries ago..

I shouted at him, "are you freaking nuts?? What on earth is wrong with you??"

N he actually laughs n proudly explains that this is nothing compared to his brother who once took 40 panadols at one go...

Seriously god, why do u do this to me? You know I have more than enough patience.


Monday, 16 May 2011

Open Letter to our #1 Troll

Dear Beast,

We thank you for your interest in our blog and your dedication in procuring good images for our blog gallery.
*Although, there is a general consensus here, that you might need to start getting some REAL hobbies.

Pertaining to the email sent by ‘miss S’, you don’t have to disregard it. We think it was cute :)
She was clearly in a rush and hence, and rest assured, our greatminds are still sharp as a tack. This was just a small oversight on her part.

We apologize for causing you such a rush of excitement that you actually pee’ed in your pants upon discovering ‘a name’.

As for whose nick belongs to who, why spoil the mystery eh? Since you like it that way, we shall keep it that way. After all, we like to keep our avid readers happy :)

Thank you for your continuous support and we look forward in receiving your comments/brickbats on our lame blog.

Have a good day!
Yours truly,
PinkScalers Inc.

Saturday, 14 May 2011

China Specialties

The little fun that kept me going in china ;)

Knife cutting??!!

Poor thing, got fired :p

Try to picture onions blasting mutton :p

Wood beard??? Dun wanna know what it is :p

However fried also can..


Self explanatory :)

Vegetarian choices: beef, pork & chicken :)


Thursday, 12 May 2011

Men #21

Remember the douchebag that I met while I went for my interview? Yeah, he is now here to annoy the shit out of me...

My replies in red..

Yesterday’s conversation: 

nope, y?

Answering 100 questions


U only said .. So im 101 right ?

not funny at all

Oh really ..annoying right ? Tats my aim too ..make u angry and hate me maks

u dun have to try too hard u know?

This is wat i waited
Oh Really ...
I will keep this is my database as well
Thanks a milion my friend
Check out your friends list, I am deleting you

Today's conversation:

2011-05-12 10:15:22

2011-05-12 10:15:32

2011-05-12 10:15:33
Busy huh

2011-05-12 10:15:41

2011-05-12 10:15:40
Look bad only ?

2011-05-12 10:15:47
I mean bad mood

2011-05-12 10:15:54
Did i did anything wrong

2011-05-12 10:16:01
huh? how u know?

2011-05-12 10:16:08
Sorry lah ..never mean anything ..just kidding only lah

2011-05-12 10:16:28
I mean , if i the one make u bad mood i mean '

2011-05-12 10:16:40
Anyway ..y bad mood ?

2011-05-12 10:16:43
how u know i bad mood? U can see me is it???  

2011-05-12 10:16:55
Hemm ...tats good thing about me

2011-05-12 10:17:03
I can sence...serious ..

2011-05-12 10:17:38
Wat happend ..tell me if u wan to ..sharing is caring and caring is love u noe

2011-05-12 10:17:42
So share ok

2011-05-12 10:17:45
but unfortunately, im in a awesome mood today..

2011-05-12 10:17:53

2011-05-12 10:18:06
u dont know me...

2011-05-12 10:18:22
Oh really huh ..u not hard to read my dear ..

2011-05-12 10:18:28
U are damm easy to read

2011-05-12 10:18:32

2011-05-12 10:18:38
thats wat u think

2011-05-12 10:19:05
Hahahahaha...of couse i haven noe u yet but , i noe some basic thing about u my dear

2011-05-12 10:19:17
like wat?

2011-05-12 10:19:21
Say yes or not for this ..

2011-05-12 10:19:32

2011-05-12 10:20:23
If ppl listen to u , u will be very happy and when u need to listen to ppl ..tats the hardest thing for u ...

2011-05-12 10:20:34
Corect ?

2011-05-12 10:20:40

2011-05-12 10:21:05 say "no " for u its tat hard right
2011-05-12 10:21:26

2011-05-12 10:21:49
I mean to mengaku lah ..

2011-05-12 10:21:53
Ego ...

2011-05-12 10:21:57
Ego ...

2011-05-12 10:22:00
ego ...

2011-05-12 10:22:03

(after a long bragging session bout himself)

12 11:00:48
when u joined huawei?

2011-05-12 11:02:32
Y huh ?

2011-05-12 11:02:40
just asked

2011-05-12 11:02:26
anyway ..last year Mac

2011-05-12 11:02:42
U budak sgt baru ok

2011-05-12 11:02:50
Im ur super super seniur

 2011-05-12 11:03:03
so ..shut up and folow me OKKKK

2011-05-12 11:03:15
in ur dreams

2011-05-12 11:03:20
Wow ....

2011-05-12 11:03:29
Serious really nice talking to u

2011-05-12 11:03:38
Ur ex will regret forever

 and someone please, please, kill me right now!!!