Wednesday, 22 October 2008

Expectations (II)..

Without being a relationship guru and advising what and what not to do, I just wanna share the lilo way of dealing with this ;) ^evil grin^

It might be the easy way out, but its as simple as this: just DON”T HAVE ANY EXPECTATIONS. If you happen to get, it’s a bonus, celebrate! If you don’t get, tap your shoulder n be proud that u weren’t expecting anyway! ;)

For an example, I think we all should practice saying some mantras in our heads.

i. Men are dumb!

(With all due respect to men readers, I don’t mean to degrade u and I really don’t blame u. I truly believe god made u that way for a reason. I must confess, I’m always attracted to men and cannot live without them. And there are even two theories two prove my point, opposites attract and the concept of Yin & Yang. There might be some men who are exceptionally smart, but I’m not talking about them here, because I’m smart enough not to be attracted to them :) )

When I constantly say this mantra in my head, I feel myself sailing through in relationships that I used to suffer a lot. When I know for a fact men are made dumb how could I have the heart to be mad at them right? That would make me stupid, isn’t it?

ii. aaaaah, motherssss…..

I believe a mother’s job description includes nagging as one of the key tasks. So all they are doing is trying hard to achieve their KPIs. So we can’t really blame them, can we? So, lilo just says, aaaaahhhh motherssss….

iii. Bosses suck!

They are merely being paid to question our capabilities. They are required to not agree with us the 1st time. Again, they are meant to suck. So, why bother?

Come on, be creative. Add to the list yourself. I think the smartest move for me to do is to shut up now :)

By: ’lilo

Expectations (I)..

Yesterday I was reading an article, when I realized, most of the time we are not happy because things didn’t turn out as how we expected it to be. Well, I do know it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to guess that. Nevertheless, I personally think there’s a huge difference between having a goal to achieve and having an expectation of how the result should be. Because failing to do the first, only makes me strong to try harder, meanwhile the second makes me sad and all miserable. And the second one is what I’m talking about.

Although this applies in every matter of life, but it hurts more when dealing with relationships. Most of the time, we have an imaginary role planned in our head of how the other person should be, be it our parents, siblings, friends, partners, co-workers and even bosses. When the other person fails to fit into our imaginary role, most of the time, we find them to be disappointing, and we end up being miserable.

Blame it on the fairy tales, movies, tv series, story books or even those few-lucky-irritating people that we happen to bump into in our lives. However, reality is, those imaginary roles rarely exist. No one said the world is fair.

I think the key to this is to stop EXPECTING someone to change to fit into 'the role' and believe that everyone is different n it is up to us to accept the other person as the way they are. This might takes a little sacrifice from our side, our policies, pride to a certain extend. However, if I were to die tomorrow, I would rather die being happy.

For practicing this, some people choose to say, I have no self-respect or self-love. But I choose to think, if it’s me, who's sacrificing my policies and tolerating the person's nonsense, I am definitely better than him/her!

By: 'lilo

Tuesday, 21 October 2008

When beauty isn't enough ....

Beauty or brains? I think its the beauty that attracts in the first place but the brains/personality make the difference between staying and leaving. But what if you're like most people who may have a great personality but don't have the looks to match. It doesn't take a genius to guess you might not be getting as much attention from the opposite sex as you like. And you can't blame them can you, because you do the same to them;)

I remember during my university days, there was this guy that looked like a Greek God to us. I'm sure we all had a crush on him, some more serious than others- well except the ones with bad taste in men, were blind or lesbians. Lilo and myself used to practicaly drool over him but from a distance of course - we were too snobbish to make the first move and go talk to him. Anyway, we didn't need to because Lilo, being quite a looker herself (I know you're going to kill me for saying this, but accept the fact:P) soon attracted his attention and both of them became friends. Well I'm sure Mr. Hunky Greek God was hoping to be more than friends but sadly, his good looks just didn't match his personality. We demoted him from Mr. Hunky Greek God to Mr. Cheap & Transparent.

Than there was another guy in university, he was probably one of the first guys me and my friends talked to. He was quite good looking I suppose and there were some girls with wild crushes on him. He seemed like a real catch at the begining but it didn't take long for us to label him as Mr. Vain. There's even a song that describes him so well - "You don't impress me much" by Shania Twain.

Of course there were also those guys with looks as bad as their personality, and vice versa. In fact, we had more of those than we'd like. In the interest of giving them the benefit of the doubt, we attempted to be their friends but nah-ah, that went down rather badly. There was a mousy looking guy that thought he could impress me by bragging about the days he used to steal from the grocery shop he worked part time at. What a turn off! Another who showed Lilo his SPM results certificate and gave her a blue rose thinking that would impress her, hoping to win her heart and conviniently forgetting he had a girlfriend. Like, what the ??

So, for me, beauty or brains? Brains definitely comes out tops but I also need to be able to look at you everyday without thinking, "yikes, what did the cat drag in this time??"


Once in my life time...

and yeah, after reading the last blog, I'm expecting a lot of advises from people... not that i don't appreciate any of them, but I think I deserve a break.. and to record, I listen to advises and have been working on them.. and to prove it, I have attached my credit card statement below...

hahaha... I know I don't have to prove it to anyone, but I just want to capture and save this image of 'outstanding balance 0.00' cos I'm seeing this after YEARS and I don't know when will I ever get to see it again!

By: 'lilo


Its been some time since I went on a proper shopping... been controlling my urges due to my well known financial situation... but now that its diwali, I have a reason to shop! n even then, its not like I want to, its just that I don't wanna make my parents sad on diwali day seeing me wearing old clothes.. n it would also be a humiliation to them as we celebrate in big group with few families together.. so to save them them the humiliation and to make them proud, me being the goodie-two-shoes daughter is on a mission to shop this week ;)

even writing about 'shopping' makes me grin on a boring morning :D Shopping is indeed a therapy...

I went on a short-warm up shopping session yesterday before hitting the gym.. it was such pleasure... although I just bought some miscellaneous stuff, (i absolutely love all of them!!!) it made me so happy, relaxed and relieved... hahaha... n having my best shopping buddy joining me was an added pleasure! ;)

n I also had this greatest opportunity to become a/the privileged member of this most prestigious/pleasurable organization on earth, La Senza! What more can a girl ask for? ;)

By: 'lilo

Monday, 20 October 2008

when nothing i do is right - part II :(

and the jinx continues...

Monday hasn't even ended yet, and i get more news :(
1. i ate only a small bun for lunch and am hungry :(
2. after getting the new machine set up, i realized i forgot to save my sat's work progress as i backed up the files on friday night and didn't update
3. i also forgot to save my mmc file (the console that stored all my servers and other related servers)
4. best of all, my sister emails me to tell me that my mum's car (i usually drive this when she is not around or im going out) has 2 summons from the traffic police :(
1 for speeding in Putrajaya - which is definitely me, and another for breaking traffic light at KL - which is on a sunday..hence no idea whether its my sister or me)... Both amount to RM 500 :(

Oh, and i forgot to add this: during the bumper-2-bumper crawl this morning, my car 'kissed' a new Volvo S80... haha.. luckily the 'kiss' didn't leave its mark :P So yeah, and that is how my Monday started ...

can my week get any better? i don't think so :(

-M, staring out at the gloomy gloomy rain outside...

when nothing i do is right

I've had a tough, stressful and sad week last week and still counting...
It started off okay at first...Tried new route to workplace last week ....
Day 1: was fine and traffic was clear etc
Day 2: went to yoga after aeons and realized it aint easy to be flexible
and then the cursed days begun:

Day 3: smarting from the physical pain from above activity, work was getting shittier (read: horribly busy). Plus, finding out my so called extra 'help'/resource is pregnant (read: morning sickness, lack of work attitude etc etc), wasn't exactly helpful as i needed her work input crucially.. i am tired of the solo crusade.. but then again, i can't blame her :( top of that, my then best friend decided to be extra 'nice' to me and no prizes for guessing what i felt.. HURT!

Day 4: Had to go back on my own.. decided to try the new route as the road i usually travelled was in a jam (i actually checked on the radio website before leaving) and ended up not being able to find 1 small minor turning. Went on a roundabout thrice but couldn't figure out. How come? Well try adding factors like the torrential rain, darkness and my super weak+astigmated eyes..
Ended up taking 2 hours to reach home as the road i finally chose albeit is also an alternative way to reach my sodding home as that road was on a bumper to bumper crawl...
And to add more misery, the so called best friend was still oblivious and was being 'nice'...

Day 5: My machine started acting up and just like last friday, had to be remoted in for the helpdesk staff to try to fix it... wasted whole of morning half due to the problem and my work just got piled up to my neck..
In the end, the problem was only to be fixed if i choose to reformat the bloody machine...

Day 6 (the 'weekend'): Continued work from Friday... but the stupid wireless kept disconnecting intermittently and i had to VPN in to my work network each time... and really ruined my pace of work.. :(
Finally after 4 hours of non stop work, and the wireless acting up, i gave up and forced myself to go to KLCC to get my work shoes which are tattered by now and i have been putting off for ages... Bought some books at Kinokuniya and that cheered me up a bit...If anything, books don't hurt feelings and are my comfort pick me ups :)

Mum bought some Munchy's biscuits over to the living room and was saying how nice they were etc.. and that i should finish them.. so we ate & ate.. mostly i ate a lot..
Next day, it came out in the paper that very brand and the type (peanut butter flavour) had the most melamine content in it and was tested by Hong Kong authorities... haha.. :P
I missed my so called best friend then too... :( Where is a friend when you need one? :(

Day 7: Woke up early went to temple.. all was good.. and then later onwards decided to go online to face an ugly matter... things got only worse.. Ended up fighting and crying.. Made a fool of myself even :(
Cried myself to sleep

Day 8: Got up early as i wanted to go work early, get the machine reformatted and do work, work and work... got stuck in a bad crawl again... hence, all efforts to reach 'early' to office went to drain :(
Then my preggie mate comes up to me and says she is gonna leave home (read: she can't do the work i assigned her yet again)...
Eatin lunch at my desk now.. feet hurts coz i walked to the nearest petrol station to grab snack/food in my new shoes.. I don't think any1 walks to that place but i needed the walk...
The only good and 'lucky' thing that happened to me today is as soon as i was back at my desk, nursing the swollen feet, i saw it raining outside... thank goodness i didnt got caught in the rain while walking alone and umbrella-less :P

Lets see if the week gets worse.. after all, its only Monday YET :P


Thursday, 16 October 2008

Lilo wonders...

Lilo is very sleepy, tired n just simply restless.. none of her frens are online.. back from running a tiring event.. boss is sitting right next to her.. she needs to write.. she needs to blog... but what???

Since I wrote about pretenders n all that in my previous blog, it just reminded me that I met one yesterday.. He’s a long lost cousin of mine.. he is my cousin n he used to live in my house for a short period when I n him were much younger.. then he moved on with his life, never really kept in touch.. met once in a blue moon during diwali..

Yesterday, I bumped into him at the hotel I had my conference.. I recognized him n I’m pretty sure he didn’t.. being surprisingly nice, for once.. I said hi n asked if he remembers me… then I told him my name n he pretended like he always knew me… he right away said I was much fairer before hence he couldn’t recognize me… which I don’t think is quite true…

Anyway, he initiated a conversation although I’m pretty sure he didn’t know who I was.. It was kinda funny talking to someone when I know he’s just pretending.. (maybe he was just trying to be nice).. the smile running on my head while I was talking to him was proven, when he introduced me as his Niece to his colleague… I almost burst out laughing… I am his bloody cousin! :p

Then the next day while I was there.. he came looking for me n started a conversation again… he was playing very safe n asked some very generic questions… he insisted on getting me something… then he came back with two cakes for me to take back home.. saying he really misses my family etc… I was quite amazed and he proved it again, by asking if we are all still living at this place where we never lived before… not even close…

Yes, I agree his gesture was really sweet… but it just makes me wonder, do we really need to pretend to be nice? What is so wrong in not remembering someone? What is so wrong in saying I don’t know something? Why must people pretend to know something when they have no clue? Aren’t we all just human? And human make mistakes? And we don’t know everything?

By restless, ‘lilo

Tuesday, 14 October 2008

Phoney stuff

Margie needs a new cell... coz she hates her current K618i Sony Ericsson (sorry Anya!) :P

Anyway, after weeks of pondering (half-heartedly) on deciding the brand for the phone (it was a toss between Nokia or Samsung), she decided on Nokia based on:

1. The HIGH and POPULAR availability of these phones in the market
2. The easy support pre and post sales
3. Price factor (when functions are added in)
4. Ease of downloading themes, wallpaper etc.

Margie still and will always hold dear affection for Motorola phones but at this point, she needs a thingmajiggy that is envylicious + loaded with functions :D

So at first she was overwhelmed with the many models that Nokia.Com.MY has to offer (it can be mind boggling as some of the models featured, she haven't even heard of, let alone seen!) -->ok, pardon the ignorance, but how many of you have heard of this phone called Nokia 8800 Sirocco Edition, 8800 Luna, 8800 Carbon Arte, Nokia 7510 Supernova..anyone?

Anyway, once she was done gaping at the mouthful of choices, she saw the neat feature that the site had.. you just pick and choose what functions you want, the design etc.. and it will narrow down the choices for you.. smart eh? -->ok, so it's not rocket science but i seriously haven't surfed any phone sites in a LOOOONG time.. the last i surfed was a Moto site like last year :P and the last time i bought my 6260 Nokia was just after 1 day surfing and with no research what-so-ever.. I loved that phone but it dropped too many times and one day it just went into coma.period.

Ok, so her final pick are either:

1. Nokia E66 - RM 1,995 (sob, sob..too pricey for me) :(
2. Nokia 6600 Slide - RM 1,409
3. Nokia 6600 Fold - RM 1,619 -->i prefer this than the slide but the features in the slide are MORE plus, the price is cheaper too...

Next thing to do now is to surf up forums/blogs to know the +/- factors of each...

The comparation chart in the Nokia site does help a lot in terms of each specs etc.. but nothing beats the reviews from the end users itself :P


Monday, 13 October 2008

Why Margie wishes the fuel price goes UP again...

WHY do freakin Malaysians LOVE to stop/slow down and STARE at road accidents!!! esp when it doesn't concern them in any way!!!!

Stuck at bumper to bumper crawl today morning for nearly 2 hours is so NOT funny esp on MONDAY!!!!

All for what??

For an accident that happens miles away and (get this!) on the OPPOSITE road direction!!!!!! Which has NOTHING to do with the road that is backed up.... And sometimes this results in more accidents as the car in front brakes to get 'a good look' & the car at the back rams into the 'busy body' car... I have seen this happen many a times & yet people don't learn do they?

But alas, this happens ever so often till even the traffic reporters in the radio always say "stop slowing down to look people!!"


Margie thinks this is what she would do if she ever becomes the minister in Road ministry:

1. Hike up fuel price - and no, i can't care less if people can afford or can't.. most she sees driving to work are single occupants (so NOT environment friendly!!).. Less cars on the road, less traffic for Margie.. Hmph!

2. Show gruesome accident aftermath pictures on national tv, cable tv every single day at least once on peak airtime. - Malaysia is highest in road fatalities in Asia Pac (won't be surprised if 1st in the world too :P)

p/s: me thinks this way, with DAILY reminders of how one looks like after an accident (if lucky enough to be alive, that is), more Malaysians will start being cautious and courteous on the road.

Check this out:

ok, so i know its outdated.. but think bout it, if that was for year 96, imagine now.. and we ALL know that accident rates in M'sia increases not decreases.

3. When accidents DO occur (despite step 1 &2 above), have the policemen YELL at every freaking slowing down motorist to GET MOVING & direct traffic...

OR if that doesn't work, have a BIG makeshift-mobile-projector screen put up depicting the accident scene so that the all important BUSY BODIES can SEE to their hearts content from miles away.

4. For every motorist that actually stops his car & parks at the emergency lane to go to the accident scene to 'get a better look and feel of the situation, without contributing much help anyways', have the policemen issue summons on them.

OR in my situation, i usually glare at them and honk with all contempt at these 'busybody- nobodies'.

5. Ban all heavy vehicles from using ANY road during rush hour traffic!!

Last but not least and which is the easiset and most sensible to apply is to HAVE A FREAKING DEPENDABLE, RELIABLE public transportation system. But of course, our government is run by a legion of u-know-whats to even care about any of this.

-Margie in Black Monday Mood :@

Thursday, 9 October 2008

A weird incident...

Recently I attended a function, quite a holy one. There was this small incident that caught my eyee and made me think. So I decided to write about it and get it out of my head. At least it would be different than the usual ramblings ;p

Anyway, this function was conducted by a group of people (i really don't know what are they called, will describe later) who run sort of a charity home.. This group of people, they only wear white clothes, they do not eat meat, they do lot of charity in the aim to bring the public closer to god; They are the people, who sort of have sacrificed their life in the name of god, charity, etc. And this group is led by a 'Guru' who is believed to be very special. Wiki says, A guru is a person who is regarded as having great knowledge, wisdom and authority in a certain area, and uses it to guide others. literally a preceptor who shows others knowledge (light) and destroys ignorance (darkness).

I have nothing against them or what so ever. What they are doing is indeed very honorable, respectable and something I would never ever be able to do. But somehow or rather, due to my own beliefs, I have never been their fan.

Anyway, so in the function, they did some performance, its called Bhajan actually. A Bhajan is a type of Hindu devotional song, often simple, lyrical and expressing love for the Divine. I do like bhajans. So they performed and the lead singer was the 'guru'.

During this, there was this small technical issue that caught my eyes. The microphone stand was placed not close enough to her, hence her voice wasn't very clear. So the immediate reaction of her shishya, her colleague, simply another member of the group who was next to her, took the microphone out from the stand and held it close to the guru's mouth. (ok now, do some exercise.. imagine a person is standing right next to you, shoulder by shoulder.. grab a mineral water bottle perhaps and raise your hand to your side.. try n see if you can even last a minute without feeling an inch of pain) Btw, this bhajan is for one hour long!

And I think, it wont take a scientist to guess this: One look at it, I know it would hurt. Terribly. If I was the singer, my immediate reaction, without thinking a second, would be to grab the microphone and hold it myself. Even if I am the King of a country, I really believe that is what I would do. Or at least, I would offer to do it. Initiate. Try.

But to my amazement, this so called 'guru', didn't move an inch. She didn't bother to ask, try or anything at all. She continued singing happily, as if nothing else in the world matters.

Maybe you think I am exaggerating, amplifying or being ridiculous over a tiny thing. But seriously. She is a 'Guru', who is believed to have special powers and has seen the light of divine, who has sacrificed her life for charity, but she don't even care a bit for her own group member; didn't have the courtesy to think, it would hurt him. (I watched her closely every second, not even once she initiated) And she's suppose to be saving the world?

I don't mean to be proud of myself or anything. But I think I should be proud that I have better morality than her. I would rather feed a poor child in front of my eyes than to be preaching about world peace and poverty.

At the end of the function, everyone who attended, including my mom, queued up to get her blessings. I headed straight to the place where they were serving FOOD! :)

By: 'lilo

Wednesday, 8 October 2008

Glass is half empty..

yes, i am one of those who sees the glass as half empty.. i am full of negative vibes.. many people have told me so.. i have had some lame attempts to see things more positively, but i just cant.. n sadly, i choose to agree that i am a negative person.. pessimist.. maybe i'm just made this way.. n my bf tells me, just be who you are.. there's nothing wrong with you...

honestly, if you would ask me what i like, i would take time to think.. but if you ask me what i hate instead, i would tell u immediately.. so i decided to compile a list of things that i hate...

1. FAKE people.. pretenders!
if i dont like u, i dont like u.. maybe i wont tell u that i dont like u, but i would definitely NOT fake it n be all smiling in front of u.. rather i would avoid myself from having anything to do with u!
if u had a bad hair cut, i will never say it looks good on u and laugh behind at ur back.. i wud rather just say, oh, you had a haircut and fullstop!

2. unprofessional LIARs!
yeah, i know honesty is the best policy and etc.. but i don't really mind lies.. BUT and absolute BUT, DO NOT ever lie if u don't know how to lie.. i really think nothing can be more embarrassing than having the person knowing that u r lying..

3. SLOW drivers!
i absolutely, with all my heart n soul, HATE those who hog the fast lane and drive slow.. and i hate them even more if they drive a better car than me!

4. Everyday-is-a-great day people!
you must be so blessed that everyday is a great day for u.. but i'm not that lucky.. so don't come in my way... n dont bother trying to make me see things ur way..

5. WHINE babies
as much as i hate cheerful creeps, i also hate those who just like to whine about anything and everything... like everyone else was born with silver spoon in their mouth..

well, this should be a new term... haha.. i just didnt know what to call those who always ask for advise, but never once would follow!! seriously, if you already made a decision up in ur head, don't bother asking me for advise..

i guess thats all for now...this should been called 'people' that I hate the most instead of 'things'.. I may write about those things another day.. well, yeah i do know, i'm hard to please, i can't expect everyone to be as stuck up as me, but hey, guess wat? i really DON'T care what you think :)


and just when i was compiling this list, another GREATMIND, who's so turning into me, (i do honestly pity her), posted a similar blog.. so don't be surprised, we are just spending too much time together ;p

Oh the joys of life!

I think I'm becoming too cynical lately and turning into a pessimist. Not that I was ever one of those people that grinned ear to ear proclaiming "Everyday is a great day!" even when they spill curry on their new white shirt and they have five deadlines to meet by the end of the day! At least I think I generally used to look on the bright side of life without being irratating.

But lately I've been realising that as the year comes to an end, I'm more likely to look at the glass as half empty rather than half full, compared to a year ago. So OK, no better time to change than now. I shall make a list of all the things I should be positive about!

1. PMS; bloating, cramps, mood swings, pain, cramps, mood swings, CRAMPS, PAIN. Hey, look on the bright side, I'm fertile! One day I'll be able to have my very own little bundles of terror.

2. Office politics; bitching, bitching and more bitching. Well, at least it means I'm employed. And I have a boss that drives me mad with his lame sense of humour.

3. Traffic jams; total waste of time, fuel and increases stress levels. But joy of all joys, it means I have places to go to and people to see! Whether I want to or not ....

4. Relatives; everyone has an opinion about everything, and some just want to run my life for me and the more relatives I have, the more soap opera dramas I get. But occasionally they manage to be fun and some are also around to help... but most need to be helped...

Right, I'm only at number 4 and I'm honestly giving my best shot to be chirpy but it's not really working is it? Maybe that's the problem, it's not about me being an optimist or pessimist, rather, it's about me being a realist. Be realistic, accept the facts and not sugar coat it with optimism or smear it with negativity.

Oww, who am I kidding? I'm about as bad as the "Carpe Diem! Everyday is a great day!" chanters:)


Monday, 6 October 2008

Ye 'Ol Dayz....

Been a long time since i last blogged.. but last night's discovery prompted me to :D

See, it all started with a nagging worry that i lost some of my pictures from Uni days and Sydney ones that lead me to start diggin up old burn CDs at home....

Voila, a quick search and i found few CDs... Some had my thesis work on it and some were just simply Pictures :D

Boy, was i happy to discover them or what coz i thought i lost most of them when my laptop when to my brother... and i made my sister delete ALL pictures (since i had pictures of me and my ex, not that they were bad pictures...but still.... my brother to see them? NO WAY HOZE!) hehe...

So, i stumbled upon some AMAZING pics of me and the JingBangs from the days when we were.... well.. i can't describe how we looked like then.. but one word that sums it up will be Loser? hahahhaa..

A picture speaks a thousand words they say.... and i know, i know, i am breakin the cardinal sin here by posting our pictures... but i think they are so necessary in this particular post, hence im throwing caution to the winds :D

Picture 1: All suckin... (this was the filename in fact!)

The place this was taken is the MOST used spot in the whole house and THE PLACE where all major events (in our sucky no-life) happened/happens or is discussed at = the throw pillows cum lazy-arsed-couchpotatoes-area :D

Picture 2: Pyscho P?

Do i really need to comment on this? "BBA" ;)

Picture 3: The LOSERS - this got me laughin so hard :D

this was when were in our 1st year... and no, altho we can't reveal who is who.. but i can tell u, that we don't look as bad as some of 'em in this pic... (sorry but i couldnt care less of those ppl we left back then) hehehe

and the cream of the crop is one pic of me running in my pyjamas... but unfortunately (or fortunately) i didnt copy it out from my CD last night... hence, it will have to wait...


p/s: Pictures have been removed due to reasons only known to the authors :P