Yesterday I was reading an article, when I realized, most of the time we are not happy because things didn’t turn out as how we expected it to be. Well, I do know it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to guess that. Nevertheless, I personally think there’s a huge difference between having a goal to achieve and having an expectation of how the result should be. Because failing to do the first, only makes me strong to try harder, meanwhile the second makes me sad and all miserable. And the second one is what I’m talking about.
Although this applies in every matter of life, but it hurts more when dealing with relationships. Most of the time, we have an imaginary role planned in our head of how the other person should be, be it our parents, siblings, friends, partners, co-workers and even bosses. When the other person fails to fit into our imaginary role, most of the time, we find them to be disappointing, and we end up being miserable.
Blame it on the fairy tales, movies, tv series, story books or even those few-lucky-irritating people that we happen to bump into in our lives. However, reality is, those imaginary roles rarely exist. No one said the world is fair.
I think the key to this is to stop EXPECTING someone to change to fit into 'the role' and believe that everyone is different n it is up to us to accept the other person as the way they are. This might takes a little sacrifice from our side, our policies, pride to a certain extend. However, if I were to die tomorrow, I would rather die being happy.
For practicing this, some people choose to say, I have no self-respect or self-love. But I choose to think, if it’s me, who's sacrificing my policies and tolerating the person's nonsense, I am definitely better than him/her!
By: 'lilo
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1 comment:
Babe, I agree with you. Lots of people feel let down because people don't fulfill their expectations. Sure we'd all love the perfect world with perfect relationships, but relationships are dynamic and not static. I don't think it's having a lack of self respect when you try to accomodate anoother, rather by accepting someone else with all their weakness and "mutton headness", we become the bigger person because we care. Of course, it's not so black and white and matters of the heart are complicated... :) But in every healthy relationship, I think each person should be free to be themselves. -Anya-
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