Love...

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

Life is so easy if u were single.. but I’m one of the person who just cant be.. Somehow I tend to fall into love quite fast.. maybe cos I can tolerate lots of shits.. trust me.. even I am amazed with my own patience.. Whether it does me good or bad, that’s the question..

Well, talking about love.. even after being into a few relationships.. I haven’t been able to define it.. yes, I was also one of the girls who believed in true love and finding ur soul mate and shit.. but at this point of time, I think love is just about tolerating.. the longer u tolerate the longer u stay in the relationship.. so falling in love, is finding the right person u can tolerate longer or maybe for all your life..

I have had weird experiences being in relationships.. 1^st when I was very much naïve bout all this relationship thingy, I was in love with this one guy who claimed to love me so so much.. who constantly proved it with his tears.. this guy, who loved me more than anything in this world (or claimed so), was even willing to die for me.. yes, he wanted to suicide if I was to leave him.. then he wanted to kill me when I decided to leave him.. at the end, he was seen with a new gf in less than a month since we broke up.. funny isn’t it?

Then there came another guy.. Who was a every gal’s dream come true.. Showering me with flowers n gift.. The oh-so-romantic guy who opens the car door for u n who never lets the gal open her wallet.. yes, they do exist! Unfortunately, not for long though.. After being into the relationship for 3 years, suddenly he decides, maybe commitment is not my-kind-of-thing.. the guy who used to surprise me with whole lots of new things chose to surprise me with his msgs once in a blue moon.. now he prefers, hey, hows work? statements than saying, hey, I miss u….

There’s also this another guy.. I wasn’t officially in a relationship with him.. but he was there hanging onto my life for d past 7 years now.. its love at 1^st sight - then don’t c each other at all – but I still love u story.. this guy who claimed to love me since the 1^st time he saw me back in 2001, is getting married in 2 weeks time.. yes, to his ex-gf.. which until today I don’t ustd how tat could exist if he was so in love wit me.. nway, until today, he still claims tat he still loves me and will always do.. now, he says “hey, I love u, but pls come for my wedding k?” haha.. weird eh?

But u think all this would have thought me a lesson to stop finding one? Nah..

Now there’s another guy.. well, this is my present.. a guy who is a total opposite of me.. not 180 but 360 degrees different.. who doesn’t believe in P.D.As.. who I fight with at least ten times a month.. who I’m sure my parents would never like.. who I also find weird at times… but somehow I think he’s d one who will show up with THE diamond ring ;) lets see..

“I love you. It's not a weight you must carry around. I love you. It's not a box that holds you in. I love you. It's not a standard you have to bear. I love you. It's not a sacrifice I make. I love you. It's not a pedestal you are frozen upon. I love you. It's not an expectation of perfection. I love you. It's not my life's whole purpose (or yours). I love you. It's not to make you change. I love you. It's not even to make you love me. I just love you. It's as pure and simple as that.”

By: `lilo