M.A.R.R.I.A.G.E

“If you keep coming back late; I would marry u off faster”

That’s the latest threat I have been getting from my mom. This phrase simply goes into my blood, runs up to my head, creeps into my bones and gets me on my nerves!

It makes me feel like an utter useless piece of shit, which you can throw away from your house when you don’t need it or makes me feel like a stupid old cow that you can sell it off to be slaughtered when it is sick.

I have been reading all this novels on girls from Middle Eastern/African countries being forced into marriage and they run away looking for asylum. I used to pity them so much. But honestly, I don’t see myself being any different.

Will getting married actually solve all problems on earth? If getting married is the only resolution of life, I would never want to be born again. I have lived for 26 years and have met many walks of people in my life. But I am yet to find one person, who truly enjoyed getting married and believes that is the best thing that could have ever happen to him/her. Maybe my mom is the one person. But how can I be convinced when I see my father suffering every day?

Do not get me wrong. I am not against marriage. I do want to get married. I do want to have a family of my own. It’s just that I do not want to be forced into it. I don’t want to get married because I am 20 something old. I don’t want to get married because it’s my turn in my family. I don’t want to get married because my friends are doing so. I don’t want to get married because it would make my parents happy.

I want to get married because nothing else would make my life happier. I want to get married because I have found the father to my kids. I want to get married because I’m blindly in love. (note:blindly) I still think you have to be blinded by something to be married. Haha.

By: ‘lilo