You know when you wish the ground will just swallow you up?

Ever since i was a little girl, each time i got sad or hurt, i used to wish i could hide somewhere alone where no one could find me. 

Back then, i used to run outside to the side of the house and sit by the drain. It was my hideout.


The house i used to live in then, was a huge old colonial bungalow in the army camp where my dad was posted. It had miles of lawn that separated our lot and house from the neighbor. So i had all the privacy i needed and the drains were dry and clean and their only function was to flow the rain water out. So nothing icky. Just lil Nemo, sitting cross legged on a clean cemented patio and tiny drain and miles of green to feast my eyes on.

Its funny how selective one's memory can be...
For some reason, each time im sad, it always makes me yearn for those days. Like i said before here, i hate growing up :P 

Anyway, here i am on a Monday night typing away in my room. Feeling like today, i just need my own company. Feel sad, a lil melancholic even. Reasons are not very important i think.

Just felt i needed to jot down what has been on going before my fish of a memory gets to them. 

So last past weeks been really weird for me. Been dreaming a lot. Strange dreams but i could relate each of them or at least fragments of them to my thoughts. As i know those are things that have been on my mind at some point or the other.

I don't know why the dreams been appearing often. 

But here are few possible reasons (or could it be a mix of all these?):

1. My bedside reading for the past month has been Chitra Divakaruni's Queen of Dreams (it is about dreams tellers & reading what the dream is trying to tell you)

2. I've resigned from my current organization about 3 weeks ago and soon to join a new place. Kept thinking if i was doing the right decision or vice versa. That and the tug-of-war between the 2 to choose my last date. (an added stress)

3. Doses of ibuprofen during the early weeks (3 weeks ago) due to my Sternocleidomastoid spasm that has left me on the neck collar for 3 weeks and resulted to 9 sessions of physio (and counting). Maybe taking those drugs the first 4 days of my pain resulted in dreams? *shrug*

4. Under went seem to never end couple's spat 2 weeks ago. Didn't like the feeling and the tears and the drama. 

5. Been feeling the baby blues ever since I've been seeing wayyyyyyy lot of babies around me. Screw the feminism and all that bra-burning fury, i wanna have my own too :P

Anyway, this is a start of a new week and things are a lot better than the past 3 weeks have been.

For starters, i got my last date sorted out, my buy out process almost sorted out, my bank stuff being processed for my property loan, my bf and i are all sweet and dandy again (and he is being really sweet these days), my neck is improving, my physio sessions cut down to once a week, I'm feeling more positive about the new move.

The only sad news is, Anya has now officially settled down in the East. So Lilo and i are missing her already..  But we are happy for her and her lil one and her hubby. 

Peace Out, 

N.e.m.o