Expectations (II)..

Without being a relationship guru and advising what and what not to do, I just wanna share the lilo way of dealing with this ;) ^evil grin^

It might be the easy way out, but its as simple as this: just DON”T HAVE ANY EXPECTATIONS. If you happen to get, it’s a bonus, celebrate! If you don’t get, tap your shoulder n be proud that u weren’t expecting anyway! ;)

For an example, I think we all should practice saying some mantras in our heads.

i. Men are dumb!

(With all due respect to men readers, I don’t mean to degrade u and I really don’t blame u. I truly believe god made u that way for a reason. I must confess, I’m always attracted to men and cannot live without them. And there are even two theories two prove my point, opposites attract and the concept of Yin & Yang. There might be some men who are exceptionally smart, but I’m not talking about them here, because I’m smart enough not to be attracted to them :) )

When I constantly say this mantra in my head, I feel myself sailing through in relationships that I used to suffer a lot. When I know for a fact men are made dumb how could I have the heart to be mad at them right? That would make me stupid, isn’t it?

ii. aaaaah, motherssss…..

I believe a mother’s job description includes nagging as one of the key tasks. So all they are doing is trying hard to achieve their KPIs. So we can’t really blame them, can we? So, lilo just says, aaaaahhhh motherssss….

iii. Bosses suck!

They are merely being paid to question our capabilities. They are required to not agree with us the 1^st time. Again, they are meant to suck. So, why bother?

Come on, be creative. Add to the list yourself. I think the smartest move for me to do is to shut up now :)

By: ’lilo

Expectations (I)..

Yesterday I was reading an article, when I realized, most of the time we are not happy because things didn’t turn out as how we expected it to be. Well, I do know it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to guess that. Nevertheless, I personally think there’s a huge difference between having a goal to achieve and having an expectation of how the result should be. Because failing to do the first, only makes me strong to try harder, meanwhile the second makes me sad and all miserable. And the second one is what I’m talking about.

Although this applies in every matter of life, but it hurts more when dealing with relationships. Most of the time, we have an imaginary role planned in our head of how the other person should be, be it our parents, siblings, friends, partners, co-workers and even bosses. When the other person fails to fit into our imaginary role, most of the time, we find them to be disappointing, and we end up being miserable.

Blame it on the fairy tales, movies, tv series, story books or even those few-lucky-irritating people that we happen to bump into in our lives. However, reality is, those imaginary roles rarely exist. No one said the world is fair.

I think the key to this is to stop EXPECTING someone to change to fit into 'the role' and believe that everyone is different n it is up to us to accept the other person as the way they are. This might takes a little sacrifice from our side, our policies, pride to a certain extend. However, if I were to die tomorrow, I would rather die being happy.

For practicing this, some people choose to say, I have no self-respect or self-love. But I choose to think, if it’s me, who's sacrificing my policies and tolerating the person's nonsense, I am definitely better than him/her!

By: 'lilo

When beauty isn't enough ....

Beauty or brains? I think its the beauty that attracts in the first place but the brains/personality make the difference between staying and leaving. But what if you're like most people who may have a great personality but don't have the looks to match. It doesn't take a genius to guess you might not be getting as much attention from the opposite sex as you like. And you can't blame them can you, because you do the same to them;)

I remember during my university days, there was this guy that looked like a Greek God to us. I'm sure we all had a crush on him, some more serious than others- well except the ones with bad taste in men, were blind or lesbians. Lilo and myself used to practicaly drool over him but from a distance of course - we were too snobbish to make the first move and go talk to him. Anyway, we didn't need to because Lilo, being quite a looker herself (I know you're going to kill me for saying this, but accept the fact:P) soon attracted his attention and both of them became friends. Well I'm sure Mr. Hunky Greek God was hoping to be more than friends but sadly, his good looks just didn't match his personality. We demoted him from Mr. Hunky Greek God to Mr. Cheap & Transparent.

Than there was another guy in university, he was probably one of the first guys me and my friends talked to. He was quite good looking I suppose and there were some girls with wild crushes on him. He seemed like a real catch at the begining but it didn't take long for us to label him as Mr. Vain. There's even a song that describes him so well - "You don't impress me much" by Shania Twain.

Of course there were also those guys with looks as bad as their personality, and vice versa. In fact, we had more of those than we'd like. In the interest of giving them the benefit of the doubt, we attempted to be their friends but nah-ah, that went down rather badly. There was a mousy looking guy that thought he could impress me by bragging about the days he used to steal from the grocery shop he worked part time at. What a turn off! Another who showed Lilo his SPM results certificate and gave her a blue rose thinking that would impress her, hoping to win her heart and conviniently forgetting he had a girlfriend. Like, what the ??

So, for me, beauty or brains? Brains definitely comes out tops but I also need to be able to look at you everyday without thinking, "yikes, what did the cat drag in this time??"

~Anya~

Once in my life time...

and yeah, after reading the last blog, I'm expecting a lot of advises from people... not that i don't appreciate any of them, but I think I deserve a break.. and to record, I listen to advises and have been working on them.. and to prove it, I have attached my credit card statement below...

hahaha... I know I don't have to prove it to anyone, but I just want to capture and save this image of 'outstanding balance 0.00' cos I'm seeing this after YEARS and I don't know when will I ever get to see it again!




By: 'lilo

Therapy..

Its been some time since I went on a proper shopping... been controlling my urges due to my well known financial situation... but now that its diwali, I have a reason to shop! n even then, its not like I want to, its just that I don't wanna make my parents sad on diwali day seeing me wearing old clothes.. n it would also be a humiliation to them as we celebrate in big group with few families together.. so to save them them the humiliation and to make them proud, me being the goodie-two-shoes daughter is on a mission to shop this week ;)

even writing about 'shopping' makes me grin on a boring morning :D Shopping is indeed a therapy...

I went on a short-warm up shopping session yesterday before hitting the gym.. it was such pleasure... although I just bought some miscellaneous stuff, (i absolutely love all of them!!!) it made me so happy, relaxed and relieved... hahaha... n having my best shopping buddy joining me was an added pleasure! ;)

n I also had this greatest opportunity to become a/the privileged member of this most prestigious/pleasurable organization on earth, La Senza! What more can a girl ask for? ;)


By: 'lilo

when nothing i do is right - part II :(

and the jinx continues...

Monday hasn't even ended yet, and i get more news :(
1. i ate only a small bun for lunch and am hungry :(
2. after getting the new machine set up, i realized i forgot to save my sat's work progress as i backed up the files on friday night and didn't update
3. i also forgot to save my mmc file (the console that stored all my servers and other related servers)
4. best of all, my sister emails me to tell me that my mum's car (i usually drive this when she is not around or im going out) has 2 summons from the traffic police :(
1 for speeding in Putrajaya - which is definitely me, and another for breaking traffic light at KL - which is on a sunday..hence no idea whether its my sister or me)... Both amount to RM 500 :(

Oh, and i forgot to add this: during the bumper-2-bumper crawl this morning, my car 'kissed' a new Volvo S80... haha.. luckily the 'kiss' didn't leave its mark :P So yeah, and that is how my Monday started ...

can my week get any better? i don't think so :(

-M, staring out at the gloomy gloomy rain outside...

when nothing i do is right

I've had a tough, stressful and sad week last week and still counting...
It started off okay at first...Tried new route to workplace last week ....
Day 1: was fine and traffic was clear etc
Day 2: went to yoga after aeons and realized it aint easy to be flexible
and then the cursed days begun:

Day 3: smarting from the physical pain from above activity, work was getting shittier (read: horribly busy). Plus, finding out my so called extra 'help'/resource is pregnant (read: morning sickness, lack of work attitude etc etc), wasn't exactly helpful as i needed her work input crucially.. i am tired of the solo crusade.. but then again, i can't blame her :( top of that, my then best friend decided to be extra 'nice' to me and no prizes for guessing what i felt.. HURT!

Day 4: Had to go back on my own.. decided to try the new route as the road i usually travelled was in a jam (i actually checked on the radio website before leaving) and ended up not being able to find 1 small minor turning. Went on a roundabout thrice but couldn't figure out. How come? Well try adding factors like the torrential rain, darkness and my super weak+astigmated eyes..
Ended up taking 2 hours to reach home as the road i finally chose albeit is also an alternative way to reach my sodding home as that road was on a bumper to bumper crawl...
And to add more misery, the so called best friend was still oblivious and was being 'nice'...

Day 5: My machine started acting up and just like last friday, had to be remoted in for the helpdesk staff to try to fix it... wasted whole of morning half due to the problem and my work just got piled up to my neck..
In the end, the problem was only to be fixed if i choose to reformat the bloody machine...

Day 6 (the 'weekend'): Continued work from Friday... but the stupid wireless kept disconnecting intermittently and i had to VPN in to my work network each time... and really ruined my pace of work.. :(
Finally after 4 hours of non stop work, and the wireless acting up, i gave up and forced myself to go to KLCC to get my work shoes which are tattered by now and i have been putting off for ages... Bought some books at Kinokuniya and that cheered me up a bit...If anything, books don't hurt feelings and are my comfort pick me ups :)
Mum bought some Munchy's biscuits over to the living room and was saying how nice they were etc.. and that i should finish them.. so we ate & ate.. mostly i ate a lot..
Next day, it came out in the paper that very brand and the type (peanut butter flavour) had the most melamine content in it and was tested by Hong Kong authorities... haha.. :P
I missed my so called best friend then too... :( Where is a friend when you need one? :(

Day 7: Woke up early went to temple.. all was good.. and then later onwards decided to go online to face an ugly matter... things got only worse.. Ended up fighting and crying.. Made a fool of myself even :(
Cried myself to sleep

Day 8: Got up early as i wanted to go work early, get the machine reformatted and do work, work and work... got stuck in a bad crawl again... hence, all efforts to reach 'early' to office went to drain :(
Then my preggie mate comes up to me and says she is gonna leave home (read: she can't do the work i assigned her yet again)...
Eatin lunch at my desk now.. feet hurts coz i walked to the nearest petrol station to grab snack/food in my new shoes.. I don't think any1 walks to that place but i needed the walk...
The only good and 'lucky' thing that happened to me today is as soon as i was back at my desk, nursing the swollen feet, i saw it raining outside... thank goodness i didnt got caught in the rain while walking alone and umbrella-less :P

Lets see if the week gets worse.. after all, its only Monday YET :P

-M