A letter to God, from a Bride-to-be

Dear God,

Hi, it’s me! On a Monday and not really in the mood to work. Anyway, how are You today? Monday blues too? Well, I guess the days of the week don’t effect You ‘cause well, You’re not bound by time.

The reason I’m writing (this time), is to say sorry. You see, I don’t think I’m treating the people around me very well and I’m so impatient sometimes and that makes me angry at myself.

I was really tired after my presentation on Friday (thank you for answering my prayers and that everything went really well!) and I came back home just wanting to sleep but I couldn't because I needed to finish the wedding card invitation scripts and the maps that night. So I really wasn’t in the mood to discuss with Appa whether it should “Please RSVP” or “Kindly RSVP”. Don’t they both have the same meaning?? So yes, I was quite snappy.

Than on Saturday morning, when Nicholas came to pick me, we got into a silly fight. Too silly to even mention here to You. We made up within an hour but my mood was affected by it and it didn’t help that it was the first day of my period (I know it’s the universal excuse for all bad temper in women, but really, it wasn’t an excuse). Anyway, we went to see the priest and miraculously, we managed to catch hold of him and make an appointment to see him later that night. I could see how busy he was with so many people lining up to see him and how he had to maintain his priestly duties – show no stress, always show love and care – it can’t be easy to be him! But I wasn’t happy with the sloppy attitude of a certain assistant there that we had to deal with all this while and I let my irritation show. You see what I mean by I’m impatient? I mean, You’re so patient, so quick to love and so slow to anger but look at me – one sloppy assistant gets me all riled up! Please help me to be more patient and gracious like You.

Next we drove up to Tropicana Resort to see to our reception arrangements. The smile on Nicholas face when he saw the new beautifully renovated ballroom is one of the best memories of the weekend. Please help me to remember the joy of getting married to the love of my life and not to get distracted and stressed by all the beehive of activities for the wedding preparation.

Later we had to pick up my parents and go choose our wedding invitation. Oh God, you know how stressed I get playing the referee between my parents. The smallest, silliest thing offends one of them and that sets off weeks of Cold War. It really, really doesn’t help that Appa is saying “This is my only daughter’s wedding and I can’t afford to let anything go wrong” and than he does what he always does, sometimes I think he doesn’t realize he’s doing it – he bulldozers everyone’s opinion aside. That makes Amma mad cause she says ‘This is my only daughter’s wedding too! You can’t just ignore all my opinions!” Than there’s me saying, ‘Hey, this is my wedding!!” It’s not a competition, it’s not an event, it’s not some kind of challenge for them to throw down and say ‘Nah! I did this! Can you do better?’. I hate it when my wedding, something special and beautiful to me, to us, becomes the object of arguments. They can argue about everything else in this world, just keep my wedding out of it.

But on this occasion, when we went to choose the cards, thank you God that Nicholas was there. I think he handled everything really maturely and everyone came away happy. God, I’m really sorry that I got snappy at him because I was stressed with what my parents might fight about.

I’ve got about 3 months to go before D-Day and I really want to enjoy every moment of it. Please help me not to fight with Nicholas over things that we really have no business fighting about. Please help me to be patient with the opinions and demands of those around me. I don’t want to be crappy and snappy and turn into a Bridezilla.

When I’m stressed, please remind me of that time in the priest’s office when he asked Nicholas if he’s happy with our up-coming marriage and Nicholas gave a huge grin and said ‘Of course!’. Help me to remember the moments before I answered, when the priest asked me that question. When I glanced over and saw Nicholas smiling and I just knew there’s no one else who could make me happier.

Thank you, God.

Amen.

~Anya~